Ainun Ini, Ainun Itu

Saya Ainun,

Ainun Hapsari 

dan bukan Hasri Ainun Habibi yang mempunyai suami seorang genius bernama BJ. Habibi

dan bukan Emha Ainun Najib yang pandai berbicara dan disegani banyak orang

saya Ainun anak perempuan satu-satunya dalam keluarga saya.

saya memang tidak sehebat Ainun-Ainun yang lain, dan jangan bandingkan saya dengan Ainun-Ainun lainnya.

saya Ainun yang suka bermimpi dan mimpi saya banyak. 

Ainun yang ini dan Ainun yang saya sebutkan tadi memiliki kesamaan yaitu kami muslim. meski Ainun yang ini mungkin tidak serajin Ainun yang lain dalam beribadah, tapi saya mempunyai kepercayaan dan sangat yakin bahwa Allah SWT itu ada. kalian tau maksud saya kan?

meski Ainun yang ini belum sehebat Ainun yang lain, tapi saya yakin akan lebih hebat daripada mereka dalam jalan saya sendiri.

Karena saya Ainun Hapsari.

nenek moyang kehidupan dunia maya

 
kapan manusia moderen mulai suka sharing sesuatu di dunia maya? siapa nenek moyang nya?
saat friendster kah? facebook? blog? tapi kalo twitter itu udah jadi cicitnya.
banyak sisi yang bisa kita ambil atau kita nilai dari apapun yang orang lakukan di dunia maya (sharing).
dari mulai youtube dengan hiburan video sampai pembelajaran via video atau bahkan video yang gak penting untuk konsumsi umum. sampai twitter yang membawa hal pribadi jadi konsumsi umum.
tapi satu sisi yang saya salut adalah adanya google. mungkin saya yang tidak tau bagaimana sistem google itu, tapi saya salut dengan orang-orang yang berbagi hal-hal berharga untuk kehidupan orang lain. ya gak sih? mungkin karena alasan buat penghasilan. tapi walaupun tidak bisa dipertanggung jawabkan seperti buku yang dicetak tapi banyak fakta-fakta yang tersaji di dunia maya ini melalui google.  mereka yang mau berbagi dengan apa yang mereka punya itu salut deh ! cape tau sharing-sharing begitu. kecuali yang memang sudah kecanduan internet itu masalah lain.

CHEF WANNA BE !

saya sering berfikir bagaimana cara sebuah restoran masuk dalam daftar restoran terbaik?? saya search di google dan beberapa memang masuk akal dan sudah bisa saya tebak. tapi kebayang gak gimana cara kerja para karyawan atau team sebuah restoran itu bekerja? ketika suatu hari saya mendapat cerita dari teman saya yang bekerja di sebuah restoran terbaik ke-2 di asia tahun 2012. inti cerita teman saya itu adalah "a chef is just nothing without his team!" bikin saya makin berfikir dan karena saya sudah sedikit merasakan sebagai bagian dari sebuah restaurant team, komunikasi dan pendekatan seperti apa dan mungkin itu sudah dijodohkan sama Tuhan untuk membentuk sebuah team yang solid. mungkin juga chef dan team bagus untuk perkembangan restoran dan bisnis tapi tidak cocok apabila untuk kehidupan sosial. tapi sejauh ini saya belum pernah melihat atau mendengar cerita kalau chef dan team yang cocok dikerjaan, cocok juga di kehidupan sosial sehari-hari. bisa ngobrol secara pribadi, bercanda dan sharing ide yang tak terbatas. sulit dan jarang mungkin yang bisa seperti itu. kayaknya sewaktu kita menjadi bawahan chef bakal banyak teman yang klop, tapi makin naik bakal makin sedikit teman yang klop karena kebanyakan teman kita bakal jadi rival atau sekedar teman kerja. ya gak sih?

sering penasaran gimana seorang chef itu bisa jadi chef muda yang karyanya dikagumi orang-orang dan bisa jadi kebanggaan ? suka baca profil chef-chef terkenal atau yang memang berprestasi. tapi saya rasa cerita dan pengalaman dibalik sebuah profil itu lebih panjang dan lebar dan lebih rumit untuk dijabarkan. saya mencoba untuk bisa seperti mereka on my own way, tapi toh setiap pribadi itu mempunyai kesempatan dan cara bertahan yang berbeda. jadi yah bagaimana nanti kita menjadi seorang yang memiliki sebuah posisi yang diinginkan banyak orang tergantung pada cara kita menjalani dan menuai hasilnya..

saya sering penasaran sama apa yang para chef itu pikirkan karena mereka kebanyakan lelaki. saya mencoba untuk berfikir dengan cara lelaki. tapi gimana?? saya sendiri ditakdirkan sebagai perempuan dan saya tidak berfikir untuk merubah takdir itu.
mungkin cara awal yang bisa saya lakukan adalah meniru. seperti sebuah quote "you are what you eat. you are what you wear." saya mencoba untuk meniru gaya para chef hebat, tapi kadang-kadang saja. soalnya cape juga meniru orang lain. hahha.
jadi ingat di kampus saya dulu diajarin kalo anak kitchen itu punya pride tepok dagu angkat keatas..ciyee !!

 

Terlintas dalam pikiran

Setiap orang punya jalannya sendiri buat jadi sukses menurut kriteria mereka masing-masing. Dan sering kali kita mengasumsikan bahwa kesuksesan adalah seperti ini, tp pada kenyataannya ketika mencapai target seperti ini kita sering melakukan untuk mendapatkan yang lebih dari seperti ini.

Sebagai seorang yang baru lulus dari sekolah pasti kita punya idealisme sendiri-sendiri mengenai cara kita memulai karir. Ingin mendapat tempat yang memang baik untuk belajar memulai karir, tapi pernahkah kita berfikir bahwa belajar dari apa yang kita sudah tahu dan mengembangkannya dari pengalaman juga bisa menjadi cara yang bagus untuk memulai karir. Benar tidak?
Tidak ada yang tahu jawabannya sampai kita sendiri dengan kasus kita sendiri yang dapat memberi jawaban yang tidak pasti ini.

Kadang Khawatir

1. Kadang saya khawatir akan apapun yang saya lakukan di media sosial internet macam facebook, twitter, tumblr bahkan blog ini. Khawatir kalau-kalau reputasi saya jadi jelek atau bahkan yang paling dramatis adalah kehilangan atau dibenci teman. Khawatir kalau saya bisa kehilangan pekerjaan karena larangan berfoto ditempat kerja saya langgar dan fotonya malah saya posting di sosial media.
Waduh.. tidak ada undang-undangnya , tidak ada ancaman hukumnya tapi bikin deg-degan. Karena saya lebih baik bersosial media seperti ini dari pada harus main game yang saya tidak tertarik sama sekali. Saya bukan gamer ih.

2. Kadang saya khawatir dengan ibu saya yang sudah makin tua dan sudah pensiun. Meskipun saya bukan tipe anak yang bisa kasih perhatian yang lebih tapi orang pertama yang terlintas dalam pikiran saya walaupun hanya sekilas adalah ibu saya. Saya khawatir dengan pola makan beliau yang suka-suka sekenanya dan sebisa ditelannya. Aduuh.. ibu ! beliau yang paling anti sama olah raga seperti saya ini lebih jarang bergerak daripada saya.
Kadang saya khawatir setelah ibu naik haji (pergi haji) ibu jadi lebih religius (mungkin) dan lebih sering pergi pengajian. Baik sih, cuma saya jadi khawatir kalau ibu jadi fanatik dan dengan pemikiran yang kurang terbuka seterbuka anak-anaknya ini jadi menganggap islam adalah yang paling benar. karena menurut saya yang notabene islam on my way ini tidak semua yang dibilang sama uztad-uztad itu benar, yah benar menurut penafsiran dan pengalaman hidup yang mereka pelajari. Tidak salah 100% dan tidak buruk, kecuali emang sesat.
Kadang saya khawatir sebenernya ibu saya itu lebih percaya pada orang-orang disekitar beliau yang setiap hari berhubungan dengan beliau daripada sama anak-anaknya. Ya harap maklum saya sebagai anaknya masih mencari jati diri dan membangun karir mengejar mimpi (mungkin).

3. Kadang saya khawatir kalau saja menjadi brutal karena saya sering berfikiran jahat terhadap orang lain. Khawatir kalau saya hidup terlalu lama dan tidak bermanfaat untuk orang lain. karena saya dengan islam on my way ini jadi sulit beribadah menurut islam yang seharusnya. mungkin karena saya bergaul dan bersosialisasi dengan bermacam-macam orang yang memiliki latar belakang berbeda dan berpemikiran berbeda dengan lingkungan saya waktu masih kecil (teenage). Membuka pikiran dan pandangan saya sih. cuma khawatir bahwa jati diri saya sekarang sebenarnya bukan saya.

4. Kadang saya khawatir kalau saya tidak bisa menikah dan berkeluarga karena sampai umur 21 tahun ini saya masih mengesampingkan percintaan daripada karir. kalau saya dibacakan tarot yang keluar pasti masalah uang dan pekerjaan.

5. Kadang saya khawatir bahwa nanti saya tidak bisa menjadi seorang yang saya inginkan karena kadang masih labil untuk memilih. tapi saya berusaha untuk berkeyakinan bahwa saya mampu dan saya bisa !

Edit and Pop

Actually this is not about my ability in editing photos but i just love to see a beautiful, artistic, weird or just nice to see.

 

because sometime a picture can explain more than the caption and has many meaning in it depends on how people see it.  Anyway, a good photo is not always came from a good camera or a good pose or a good arrangement!

So, let us edit and make it pop like lollipop =D

WHEN

when i realize that choice is the hardest thing to decide, or the future life is just future that we can not ever imagine.
when i realize that my life is the present and yesterday is just past.
when i realize that i can not life without oxygen
when everybody just tempting me most of the time
when my heart is just not enough happiness
and when

the when it is just when without any of exact 

Goat Cheese Ice "s" -cream

you know goat cheese right???
yes GOAT cheese the very iuuww taste and flavor cheese ever.
i learn to make it in pastry of MBC (mozaic beach club)... oh damn good. the texture is just looks like white vanilla ice cream.use the soignon cheese

Start Line

Oh my goodness !!
dear blog, long time no posting. lol.
well why am i gives the title Start Line? it because i already get job before i graduate.
Yes, begin with busy stuff in bandung before i have to head up to jogjakarta and landing in bali.
New Land. New Culture. New language. New Friends. New Attitude.

This new start line is one of my dream come true. Bali. Restaurant. Fine Dining. Kitchen. Mozaic.
if from the very beginning i expect a lots and the fact is yeah i disappointed little bit. But anyway, become the opening team is just new experienced in my life and it is fine dining restaurant pluuuuusss a  lounge bar. the building is just so wow, the plan is just good.

restaurant chairs

even i am just a daily worker because i haven't graduate yet from my campus, but the excitement has begin. yes, i place my self the one who wants to learn every things in here, not a worker. i learned how to use the very smart oven named Rational. it is so smart it can steam, roast, steam-roast, can be automatically clean it self and can "talk". hahahha. it is.
mozaic beach club is place of learning many things in culinary even many of its menu is just copying the others modern new cuisine in the world but it is okay for me. hahhahaa perhaps.

Sous vide is the most exciting thing i learn. if you didn't know what is sous vide just click here .
magic and simple but with high knowledge of cooking. maybe for me sous vide result not really matter to the taste, but it is make the ingredients still have fresh taste and flavor of its own, and sous vide can be save in a long period and can be very safe or very danger depends on the treatment. that is why i call it as simple but needs high knowledge of cooking.

But beside the excitement of being the part of the famous restaurant team , there is some disappointed feeling. so i have quote "a good restaurant to visit is not always a good place to work in it."

work hard is just work hard without any compliment for the worker. so i have to place my self to become a chef not a worker. what is the difference work in the kitchen as worker and as a chef even our title is not the chef yet??
in my opinion if we place our self in the kitchen as a worker, we will only think what the task for today. but if we place our self as a chef we have passion on what we do for, we will respect to the product we made, we will learn and try to organize what we do, keeping the kitchen clean, become lil smart to use the ingredients and build a good communication with the others and understanding what the company wants from us.
Yes, suffer your self to make the others happy !!
So, in my opinion what's the difference of a worker and chef is in our mind. because we do the same things everyday in the kitchen. we have dreams and we have to plan and move on. become the best every where we are. good relationship and patience is the key of happy working. don't forget to be humble and keep you head down with the attitude that we have. and also we have to speak up in the right condition. try to be honest every time.

yes i learn a lots and this is my Start Line to become a awesome Chef someday ! amin Ya Allah !

bale bengong in the pool side lounge

sunset view in front of the lounge

 

karena aku hampa untukmu

seharusnya aku bisa mencinta
karena kebaikan yang tiada tara tanpa batas rasa menjijikan
menjijikan memang aku menatapnya
hingga tak mampu aku bersikap biasa
berharap memori ini tak ada yang tau
aku selalu berusaha menghampakan hatiku untuknya
karena aku bukan perempuannya
tak perlu repot membantuku
jangan berharap hampa ini menjadi berudara
karena apabila berudara, maka udara itu hanya selingan belaka
tak ada ketulusan yang bisa mengalahkan logika dan prinsipku
tak pernah berfikir aku bisa menjadi sahabat
karena aku hanya mengenal dan aku hampa
mohon hilangkan kepeduliannmu, karena itu akan melukaimu 

random

ingin terkadang seperti benda mati
menjadi saksi semua kejadian yang terbuka lebar tanpa batas kemaluan
tak perlu canggung ataupun banyak berfikir
hanya melihat menjadi saksi yang setia
tak berkomentar atupun berharap menjadi sesuatu yang diharapkan
menjadi dingin ketika semua panas
menjadi panas ketika memang harus menjadi panas
nista suka canda menangis menjadi pernyataan yang tak berperasaan
lelah mempunyai perasaan yang bisa dipengaruhi oleh apapun
menjadi sesuatu kebanggaan yang memang diharapkan menjadi jauh lebih  berharga
menjadi sesuatu yang harus berjuang
mangis ketika semua tawa berkutat erat tak mau lepas
menjadi pribadi yang tidak punya kepribadian
menjelma menjadi sesosok yang diwajibkan berubah menjadi makhluk jelmaan pribadi lain
menganggap semua biasa saja ketika tidak bisa berpendapat

lelah aku berjalan dalam pikiranku yang absurd ini
berfikir untuk maju dan hanya maju tanpa ada cerita dan makna berarti

Pray

I just can't sleep tonight  
Knowing that things ain't right It's in the papers, it's on the TV, it's everywhere that I go  
Children are crying, soldiers are dying, some people don't have a home
But I know there's sunshine behind that rain 
I know there's good times behind that pain  
Hey, can you tell me how I can make a change?
I close my eyes and I can see a brighter day 
I close my eyes and pray 
I close my eyes and I can see a better day 
I close my eyes and pray
I lose my appetite knowing kids starve tonight  
Am I a sinner, 'cause my dinner is still on my plate?  
Ooh I got a vision to make a difference And it's starting today
'Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain  
I know there's good times behind that pain  
Can you tell me how I can make a change?
I close my eyes and I can see a brighter day  
I close my eyes and pray 
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray for the brokenhearted 
I pray for the life not started I pray for all the ones not breathing 
I pray for all the souls in need I pray, can you give 'em one today?
I just can't sleep tonight Can someone tell me how to make a change?
I close my eyes and I can see a brighter day  
I close my eyes and pray I close my eyes and I can see a better day 
I close my eyes and I pray, I pray, I pray I close my eyes and pray, pray

this is lyric of "pray" by justin bieber.
i love this song not only because of the story behind it, but also it reminds me to always have a pray. 
and i think that this song match with "when you believe" by mariah carey. 
because everyone deserve something best ! 

WhatSoEver Baker

Hey ho, i was so itchy wanted to make some food which is baked.
so here i go !

YESTERDAY
when i woke up in the morning i make a cup of instant coffee, then suddenly i took a bowl and started to mix chocolate powder, instant coffee and sugar. I was thinking "what am i doing?" and whatever ! i make a batter.
100 ml warm chocolate milk ( i pour my hot coffee into it ) and 1 tsp dry yeast, let it foam.
then, i mixed the chocolate, coffee and sugar with the foamed yeast.
Add the mixture into:
1 cup of all purpose flour
1 whole egg
mix all the ingredients.
i rested the batter about 30 minutes, then i pour into aluminum baking dish. set the oven into 180 degree celcius.
bake the batter for 45 minutes. And voila ! CHOCOFFEE YEAST CAKE !

as blur as my mind and the recipe, the taste is also blur. hahaha. Less sweet. but this is good companion for hot coffee ! XD

TODAY
 i woke up almost mid day, then i was really wanted to eat a caramelized onion pizza, as just a moment after i woke up and went to bath room, i mix a dough. i look up into allrecipes.com
then i develop my own.

pizza dough :
3 shooter of all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp margarine
i make a foamed yeast with 100 ml warm water and 1 tsp dry yeast and little sugar
mix all the ingredients, and rest for 30 minutes.

while i was waiting the dough proof, i ran to supermarket to bought onion, chicken and some food stock.
when i came back the dough was already proof and ready to roll.
after the dough rolled by dodo and put onto baking tray, i made the topping.

caramelized onion :
about 150 gr sliced onion and 1 tbsp margarine, put into pan with medium heat, stir it once in a while. until lightly brown. don't burn it !
chicken floss :
100 g boiled chicken boneless, torn the flesh, then dry saute in non stick pan until little dry.
grind the dried chicken with 2 cloves of garlic (uleg). put into non stick pan, saute again the grind chicken, add pepper and salt.
sliced tomato :
sliced tomato cherry into thin slice, sprinkle with salt.

all was set !
i put the caramelized onion onto the dough , sprinkle the chicken floss, then arrange the sliced tomato cherry.
last, sprinkle dried basil, oregano and few salt.
bake in the 180 degree celcius for 15 minutes, take out from the oven and brush the edges with margarine, and baked again in 200 degree celcius until the edges slightly brown.
Voila ! NATURAL PIZZA.

hooosshhh ! this pizza has light taste so good without any sauce and the very good friends of cold beer !
after the last bite of this pizza i just "let's make a pizza again !" hahhha.

Harta

bersama dengan ini saya titipkan harta paling berharga kepadamu
tolong jaga ini
jangan kau beri tambahan apapun karena ia akan berkembang dengan sendirinya apabila lingkungannya nyaman
boleh perkenalkan kepada orang lain, tapi jangan tinggalkan
hindari pemanasan
jauhkan dari sesuatu bernama pemikiran negatif
perbaiki bila terjadi kerusakan
harta ini tidak ada kadaluarsanya
namun sangat rentan seperti barang pecah belah, kalo pecah pasti terbelah, namun apabila belah belum tentu pecah

bersama dengan ini aku resmikan penyerahan harta paling berharga bernama persahabatan 

Jatiluhur chapter

Jatiluhur !
It's a reservoir in purwakarta, west java, Indonesia.
this was my first time to go there. my friends (boys) asked me to come with them to fishing for 1 full day. with no arguing i joined them. my expectation was not more than fishing with the boys is like pretending that i am a boy too. so, i dressed up like a sir, brought simple equipment as they asked me and tried to not annoy them.
So, here we go !
Abdul, me (Ainun), Andi, Benz, Ibonk and Harum are the crew. Benz drived us with his car to go there. we arrived in jatiluhur when the sun is ready to set down. The reservoir is sooo large. yuuhuuu...
We packed our equipment and stuff from car to the boat.
I was complaining "why we brought this so many stuff ! we want to fishing or camping?" hahaha, i ashamed to bring those many stuff actually. Whatsoever happened just let them happened !
Mr. Riko is our boat driver.
it was so scary ride the boat, wow, it seems like to sink, the boat was so unsteady. but Mr. Riko is already the expert of being boat driver, so it's safe.
Our destination is raft to stay for fishing in the reservoir edges. Yup, in a raft i would stay ! no toilet and no clean water !! but that was the excitement, i thought !
finally we choose our raft and jump onto it. first word came out from our mouth is "how dirty it is!" Yup, it is. so many rubbish from the past fisher. but the raft is in good condition anyway. Then, we choose our place and unpacked our fishing equipment and stuff. and we started to fishing is about 7 in the evening. The situation was already dark, damp and warm. we started to drank and ate our food. then the boys started to peeing one by one, and i just worried how would i pee? I tried to hold it as long as i could. but, almost mid night i can't hold it anymore, so i went to the darkest part of the raft, on the bridge between the raft i pee. That's my first time pee not in the toilet and in the darkness of reservoir, with boys in front of me. Next !
our night was not to rush because of the fish was not coming fast, so calm and we stared to the reservoir which reflect the lamp light from the fish cages in the middle of it, far from our raft.
boys talk and me ! we laughed together.
I called it relaxation and the fish was not coming again, while we started to sleepy and fall asleep. Andi and ibonk stilled awake and continue to fishing.
i woke up in the morning, enjoying the Sunrise and back to fishing. 
Our day was ready to start again !
Andi the fishing expert and ibonk was the stable. Abdul was the fishing with fun. me, benz and harum are the messy fisher ! hahahah. in the morning there were an old woman drove her boat selling coffee and breakfast. we bought omelet and rice for breakfast (telur dadar dan nasi), very simple breakfast, typically indonesian. after breakfast abdul, harum and benz went to the mountain behind our raft because of their bored and came back when the sun hotter.
the sun started to rise higher and strike us with its light so hard ! yup, so hard ! super hot and burn us all. Abdul, benz, me and harum are surrender. while andi and ibonk still fishing tried to get more fish, but the idiot and wonderful thing is we could fall asleep in the very killing hot sunlight, even ibonk and i were sitting sleep. Woke up again and harum swim in to the reservoir not in the force at all. the fishes are very slow to came, We are all already burn and surrender. Then when the weather started to calm, Mr.Riko came to checking us, ride his kayaking. So surprise when Mr.Riko told us the price of the kayaking. " The local one, like this is 25 milions, then the imported one is 1,4 billions." woohoo, so expensive ! i better buy a home !
Then, we asked Mr.Riko to took his boat and took us back to our car.
We backed to the land with  worried about the boat to sink, again !
the weather was so good and relaxing ! yup, that was my little experience in Jatiluhur reservoir with the boys ! that was not all of the story happened , but it represented the overview.

the night

sunrise in the morning

morning fishing

mid day fishing! Andi can't handle the hot weather

Harum on the raft edge

the sun started to burn us

this is our raft

abah the moss trader

harum,ibonk,abdul in pose

our way back to the land, Mr.Riko is driving in the back.

ibonk and abdul in a pose on boat

Jatiluhur

Passion

whatever they call me, or whatever they know me, they just don't know what i feel today or in the rest of my life !

yes, today i still a student, haven't get job yet. i haven't get my own money and life.
but, i knew that i have Passion in culinary.  what does makes me wanted to write today is because today i made banana cupcakes and watch some video.
i took photos of the banana cupcakes i made, it makes me feel that i was very enjoy and happy doing the photo session and my eyes can not just see a picture of cupcakes, but my eyes were like saying "they have inner beauty, so please show it up !" and i started to make some simple base and background to the cupcakes, covering my window to got a good light, and take some photos from different angle. And eemmm, i didn't know, i just enjoy and love this kind of job, heavenly for me !

while i transfered the photos to my computer and gave them a few edit touch, my friend sent me a video link to watch. the title is  next vs el bulli opening . first time i watched this video i felt like i wanted to have those kind of job, they have passion in not only cooking but also the art of culinary and they do it well and beautifully, i think. and then i click alinea 6 year anniversary , my heart felt more exciting and in my mind i said "it's all about Passion".
but some of the sentences which said by the cook makes me think that why are they mostly a man? and i said to myself "if my passion drawn me to have a man personality, i won't regret to do that kind of personality!" i want do everything to be a professional and creative in culinary world. It made me feel that i want finish my diploma soon, and get a job with great chef who can teach me how to be a professional and creative one and increase my passion.

 I know i can do the best and i deserve the best. the best for me is not always the best for anyone else.

some of my favorite quotes